The Mainframers would not like the film Titanic with Leonardo DiCaprio and ... what's-her-face (how am I suppose to know? I haven't even seen the movie!). Well the solution is quite simple and anyone can see it, it's just that not everyone will admit it. I mean, when you really think about it and think of how each Mainframer would react to the film, it would all be disgust towards it. You want me to prove myself? Alright, I accept that challenge and will show you that this is indeed fact. Plus, proving a point is what an essay is for, right? Right.

Let's start with the young audience, Enzo Matrix (and no, I don't mean the renegade). This is not a kids movie. Why do I say that? Because it would traumatize the kid for life! Kind of like being trapped in the games for all of your teen years and trying to find your way home (now, I mean the renegade). How would it traumatize him? The movie's a tragedy. Enzo has already had enough death in his lifetime to last... a lifetime. He lost his parents at a young age and every single sprite in the system. Talk about having a bad day! Also, Jack draws Rose in the nude. The nude, people! Come on! That's just the wrong thing to show a kid and you know it! After the adult based art lesson and while no one is looking, Jack and Rose steal away and do the "horizontal lambada". Yeah, you know what I'm talking about so, I will not elaborate. There's no need! Not only that but this movie is a romance. When was the last time you saw a ten year old boy sit in front of Mike the TV and actually watch a romance movie? Not lately, I'll tell you that. So, Enzo is free to go and watch some nice Disney movie or something (so long as he doesn't hold a grudge against Disney for dropping the third season).

Next, we have Matrix. Again, this movie is a romance and even though I picture him watching something more along the lines of Eraser, he might actually want to watch a nice romantic movie with AndrAIa sometime but, Titanic has Leonardo DiCaprio in it. That's enough to make any guy sick, so Matrix can go watch a movie with Enzo. How 'bout that new one from Disney 'The Kid' (again with the Disney thing!)

Next we have AndrAIa. I'm sure she'd love a good romance film as much as any girl, but she's more of the politically correct girl... in some ways (I didn't say ALL!). I don't think that AndrAIa would find it fair to treat the first class passengers any differently from the third class passengers. She'd hold boycotts against unfair treatment towards third class passengers, the food served to them and the wrongful use of CGI dolphins in a movie that promotes favouritism. So, count her out of the picture.

Next we have Mouse and Ray. They'd be too busy kissing to pay attention to the screen and they would just find all the screaming annoying so they'd leave the room.

There's also Megabyte. Now, he would most certainly root for the weasely fiancee and cheer when the "good guy" freezes (I mean, who wouldn't?) He'd also like all the death and destruction. Virals are like that. I don't know why. But I'm sure he wouldn't like all the "ogling Leo fans" in the the theatre, so he'd go off and try to think of a plan to rid the Net of "I love Leo" sites.

Hex is next. She'd love the chaos at the end of the movie; everyone scrambling over each other to get to that desired elevator ride down into the water on the bow of the boat. But she would be completely turned off when Celine Dion's song came during the credits. Therefore, without knowing how Hex's mind works, she'd just hate the whole movie for the theme song. Go figure.

Now I'm sure if anyone else was writing this essay, they'd skip over Phong. Not me. What Phong would do throughout the film was talk about the historical elements of the movie and how stupid Users are by building a ship that big and not have enough lifeboats for everyone. He'd also mock the lousy CGI effects of the man falling off the bow and bashing his head against the bulkhead (you know... that part of the boat), killing him instantly.

Lastly we have Bob and Dot. Now, they would not forget the horrible experience of taking part in the making of the fanfiction story "Ship Out of Time" by Lissa Jean. Now I'm not saying that it's a horrible story. I scanned through it and I saw good stuff, but Bob almost died! That's right Bob fans. The "Blue Wonder" was not just blue from his skin colour. Dot thought that he was dead. Her boyfriend. Not to mention that Dot was engaged to the User! How horrifying is that? Would give me nightmares for a week if I were her.

There. I have uncovered as to why the Mainframers would frown upon you if you ever asked them to watch the four hour long history lesson with you. You get it? They would turn their backs on you and you'd be lucky if Matrix didn't pull his gun on you. I for one would ask them to go see something else. What would I ask them to? How am I suppose to know? I haven't really thought about it.

And I'm sure you're wondering how do I know a lot Titanic if I haven't seen the movie. I'll tell you, you can learn a lot about it by first by seeing pictures of the actual ship on the OmniMax screen in grade 5 (that's seven years before the movie came out), doing a speech on it in grade 7 (that's five years before the movie came out), had your entire class study it in grade 8 (that's four years), had your french teacher teach it in class in grade 9 (three years), and by watching a lot of commercials and "The Making Of" specials, talk shows and listening to people talk after it came out. I don't have to watch the movie to know practically everything about it, now do I? I'm not basic.

There you have it. The reasons as to why they would not like Titanic. But you're asking, "What about Turbo? Back-up? Maxine? Herr Doktor?" So, what about them? They're not main characters so they don't count. Plus it's my essay and I can do what I want. So go kiss a null!

First seen in Charisma's Game.